Honor Your Parents (5-22-12)

Exodus 20:12 - "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you."

This fifth commandment is the first one that deals with our relationship with other people. The first four dealt with our relationship with God, and all ten of them do to a certain extent, but at this point the primary focus shifts to the way that we treat our fellow man. The placement of this commandment is absolutely perfect. God put these commandments in this order for a reason, and probably more than one. Here, where the focus switches from our relationship with God to our relationship to man, God begins with a commandment concerning our relationship with our parents. This is a great transition, first of all, because parents are Gods authority in the home. By honoring our parents we are honoring God, and so this commandment is a nice transition from the first four commandments to the last five. Another reason I think He begins this second section with this commandment is because this is something everyone has to deal with. No one on earth made it here without parents. This parent child relationship is something that everyone has to deal with, and so God gives us His perfect instruction on how to conduct ourselves in our relationships with our parents.

This fifth commandment tells us to "Honor your father and mother." The word honor means to have high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank. God doesn't give any exceptions to this commandment. And He doesn't tell us to honor them because they're perfect. No, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Parents, just like the rest of us, are sinners. But that doesn't negate Gods commandment. We need to respect and obey our parents no matter our age, and no matter their spiritual or social standing. We are commanded to honor them simply because they are our parents. God expounds on this commandment in the very next chapter. Exodus 21:15,17 says this - "He who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death... He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death." God is serious about this commandment. When I was younger and my parents told me to do something, if I asked "Why?" I would often get the answer, "Because I said so." And that's reason enough. Because they are my parents, because of their position of authority in my life, simply because of who they are is, according to God, reason enough for me to honor them.

Solomon gives us a wonderful example of honoring his mother in 1 Kings 2:19 which says this - "So Bathsheba went to King Solomon to speak to him for Adonijah. And the king arose to meet her, bowed before her, and sat on his throne; then he had a throne set for the king’s mother, and she sat on his right." Solomon was the king, the highest position of authority in all Israel, and yet when his mother came into his presence he arose and bowed before her. Honoring our parents is not something that we can stop doing when we grow up, they are always our parents regardless of our age, and we need to honor them. Solomon saw the importance of this fifth commandment, and we see that, not only in the way he conducted himself toward his parents, but also in his writings. The book of proverbs, probably more than anywhere else in the Bible, gives us instruction concerning our relationship with our parents.

Proverbs 1:8-9 - "Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck."
Proverbs 15:5 - "A fool rejects his father’s discipline, but he who regards reproof is sensible."
Proverbs 20:20 - "He who curses his father or his mother, his lamp will go out in time of darkness."
Proverbs 23:22-25 - "Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. buy truth, and do not sell it, get wisdom and instruction and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you."
Proverbs 30:17 - "The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it."

These are just a few of the many verses that tell us the importance of honoring our parents. This commandment is coupled with a promise, "that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you." In his letter to the Ephesians, the apostle Paul emphasizes this promise and changes the wording a little bit to apply it to you and I. He says in Ephesians 6:1-3 - "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth." None of the first four commandments were connected with a promise, but this one is. God directly ties a promise to this commandment. He says if you and I will honor our mother and father, if children will obey their parents in the Lord, they will be rewarded by God. Paul speaks to children again in Colossians 3:20 were he says - "Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord." In both of these places Paul is addressing children. In the four gospels we're only given one account of the childhood of the Lord Jesus, but I think this account gives us a very good example of children honoring their parents. This account is in Luke chapter 2. You'll remember that when Jesus was 12 years old He went with Mary and Joseph up to Jerusalem for the Passover feast. On their way home they realized that Jesus was not with them and they went back to the city to search for Him. And so we read in Luke 2:46-51 - "Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers. When they saw Him, they were astonished; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You treated us this way? Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You.” And He said to them, “Why is it that you were looking for Me? Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?” But they did not understand the statement which He had made to them. And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart." Notice what Mary said to Jesus, "Behold, Your father and I have been anxiously looking for You." Mary made a mistake. Joseph was not Jesus' father. We know that Jesus was conceived in Mary by the Holy Spirit. But Jesus did not rebuke her, He simply clarified who His Father really was, "Did you not know that I had to be in My Father’s house?” and then went with them. And verse 51 says - "And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart." Parents don't always have it right, but if Jesus, the perfect child could continue in subjection to His imperfect human parents, we need to do the same. Ephesians 6:1 - "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."

For some reason people think that when we grow up we no longer have to obey this command, but the Bible never says that. We saw in the case of Solomon that when he was grown up and was sitting as king of Israel, he still honored his parents. But the religious leaders of Jesus day thought that they could excuse themselves from keeping the commandment, but Jesus told them otherwise. They had set up all sorts of rules and traditions in place of the law of God and began judging people based on their own standards rather than on the Word of God. So Jesus says in Matthew 15:4-6 - "For God said, ‘ Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘ He who speaks evil of father or mother let him be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever shall say to his father or mother, “anything of mine you might have been helped by has been given to God,” he is not to honor his father or his mother.’ And thus you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition." They had excused themselves from honoring their parents under the guise that they were honor God. God will never be pleased with disobedience, no matter what we try to cover it up with. There is even a movement today that is encouraging young adults to separate themselves from their families in the name of godliness. But in so doing they are contradicting the Word of God.
Even in His dying moments our Lord was concerned with the well-being of His mother. We read in John 19:26-27 - "When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” From that hour the disciple took her into his own household." Jesus didn't excuse Himself from honoring His mother just because He was grown up, or even because He was about to die. He knew that He was about to die and He was concerned for the future of His mother, so He put her in the care of His most trusted disciple. He was looking out for her future.

Of course, it goes without saying that if a parent instructs you to do something that is contrary to the Word of God, we are to obey God rather than man. But the Scripture is very clear - "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth." "Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord."

Exodus 20:12 - "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you."