The Progression of Love

1 Peter 1:22 - "Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart."

There was a sequence of events in the life of the apostle Peter that must have impacted his life drastically, because he expounds on the lesson that he learned in that situation in both of his letters. The sequence of events are recorded for us throughout the four gospels, but I want to focus on John chapters 13-21. At the end of John chapter 13 the Lord Jesus was telling His disciples that He was going away and that they would not be able to follow Him yet, but Peter said to Him in verse 37 - "Lord, why can I not follow You right now? I will lay down my life for You." Jesus answered, "Will you lay down your life for Me? Truly, truly, I say to you, a rooster will not crow until you deny Me three times." I believe that Peter truly thought that he loved the Lord enough to die with Him. I don't think he was speaking through his teeth when he said this, but Peter was going to learn a lesson in the following days and it was one that would stay with him. When the Roman soldiers and the religious leaders came that night to arrest the Lord Jesus all of His disciples, including Peter, left Him and fled. When Jesus was taken to Caiaphas, the high priest, we're told that Peter was following at a distance in order to see what would happen to Him. As he was sitting among the Roman officers in the courtyard of the high priest, warming himself by the fire, a servant recognized him as having been with Jesus, but Peter denied it, claiming that he didn't even know what she was talking about. Another saw him and said that he had been with Jesus, but again Peter denied it with an oath, this time saying "I do not know the man." A little later the bystanders began to accuse him of being one of Jesus' disciples, stating that even the way he talked gave him away. At that Peter began to curse and swear and cried out "I don't know the man!" and immediately a rooster crowed, and Luke tells us that at that moment the Lord Jesus turned and looked at Peter, and immediately Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had told him, "Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times." And Peter went out and wept bitterly. Peter thought that he would lay down his life for Christ before he would deny Him. What happened? Peter failed the Lord and he was truly, deeply grieved at his failure. He was beginning to realize that he didn't love the Lord like he thought he did and that he was unable to produce the love that he needed. Before Christ died Peter was very confident of his love for the Lord, but by allowing Peter to go through this low, humiliating situation of failing the Lord in his own strength, the Lord was revealing to Peter the true condition of his love for the Lord Jesus. He began to realize that his love wasn't as it should be, and what's worse is that he didn't know how to fix it. I'm convinced that Peter wanted to love the Lord enough to die for Him, but he was helpless to help himself.

The last time we see Peter in Matthew, Mark and Luke, he is weeping bitterly. The only interaction between the risen Christ and Peter is found at the end of the book of John. If it were not for John chapters 20-21 Peter would have remained crushed under the weight of his sin, drowning in a sea of guilt and hopelessness. But the Lord wasn't through with Peter. After He rose from the dead Jesus came back to Peter to finish the lesson he had begun to learn.

In John chapter 21 the Lord Jesus asks Peter a question. He essentially says to him - "Peter, do you love Me?" And Peter honestly responds, "Lord, You know that I have affection for You." There are two different Greek words for love that are being used in this conversation. The Word that the Lord Jesus uses is agape, this is supreme, God love. The love with which God loves the world. But the word that Peter responds with is phileo, a much weaker word that could better be translated affection or brotherly kindness. Peter recognized the weakness of his love for the Lord Jesus and he didn't try to hide it. So Jesus asks him a second time - "Peter, do you agape Me?" And again Peter responds - "Yes, Lord; You know that I phileo You." The Lord Jesus asks the question a third time, only this time He changes the word that He uses. He doesn't use the word agape the third time. This time He uses the same word that Peter uses, phileo. He says - "Peter, do you phileo Me?" Essentially He is saying, "Peter, I know that you recognize that you don't love Me like you should, and you say that you only have an affection for Me. But search your heart. Do you have affection for Me? Is your love for Me even that strong?" The questions of the Lord Jesus are searching questions. He never asks a question because He lacks the information. He knows everything. So when He asks a question, He asks it in order to penetrate our hearts and cause us to search ourselves. When He asked the third time "Do you phileo Me?" We read, "Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you phileo Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I phileo You."

Peter knew where he was in his love for the Lord and the Lord didn't leave him there. He knew that his love for the Lord wasn't what it should be and he recognized that he was helpless to help himself, and so the Lord stepped in and produced that love in and through him by the work of the Holy Spirit, and we see Peter living out that agape love throughout the book of Acts. And in both of his epistles Peter shares with us this lesson that the Lord taught him.

In First Peter chapter 1 he says in verse 22 - "Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere philadelphia (a variation of phileo), fervently agape one another from the heart." He is telling us that since God has produced in us that first step of phileo, we need to take the next step of agape. And here he is talking about our relationship with one another. Our relationship with others is inseparably tied to our relationship with God. And just like we can't remain in simply a phileo relationship with the Lord, we shouldn't remain in that relationship with one another either. And, by the way, this progression of love is essential. John tells us that God is agape, and the one who abides in love abides in God and God abides in him.

In Second Peter chapter 1 Peter gives us a list of seven things that we are to add to our faith. He says in verses 5-7 - "Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love." The last two things in this list are the same words we saw in John chapter 21 and 1 Peter 1. We are to add to our godliness, phileo, and to our phileo, agape. We can't be content to stop at brotherly kindness. Peter goes on to say in verses 8-9 - "For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins."